Decisions

Today, I failed an assignment for the first time this year. My teacher was very reasonable about the entire thing and gave me an extra day to do it. I hear that if you fail an assignment in college, you're thrown off of the course. I'm beginning to feel like I've made the wrong decision.

Little under ten minutes ago, I realised that maybe A-level English wasn't a good idea. Even though I got an A for my coursework, I only got a C overall. Surely that means I got something like a D in the exam?

The truth is, it's just a basic research assignment, and I'm really struggling. It's just wasting time, now I'm behind on my maths because of it. Everyone around me has a plan of what they want to do in life, some kind of basic outline and what courses they're going to need...everyone except me. So I thought "Maths and English are the two main subjects, they'll look good on my results."

Maths isn't a problem for me, never has been, never will be, but English has always been "rocky" for me, to say the least. I can produce amazing things when given the time, and I have no problem with structuring my writing (otherwise this blog would be non-existant) but I just can't keep up. I mean i'm struggling with basic, basic research assignments, what the hell?

I don't like giving up, at all. Especially when there are people I know who give up straight away and waste their talent. I'm thinking along the lines of "know your limits", I don't want to push myself and get an average C in everything when I can drop a subject and get something like two As and a B. It seems like people are dropping subjects left, right and centre for really petty reasons, such as they "just don't like it". I like to think of myself as an intelligent person, but from here it looks like I've not made the clever decision. I want to go for deputy head boy, how can I do that if I'm going to drop a subject? I just don't know anymore

Obviously this failed assignment's going to set off alarm bells up at the top and my place on the course will be reviewed...I think I know what I want to do.