The next step.

I'm going to ignore the holidays, the last weekend was fun, albeit incredibly unlucky: got my phone nicked, had the worst luck in poker ever (which seems to have carried on) and bought a headset, unknowing that a fucking book shop was doing them for fucking half price (yes, I'm angry). But I went to a games expo, which was cool (to the geeky side of me, bloody scary to the rest :P) and I played pool and stuff (like a true slacker). I'd show you pictures I took on my phone, but for obvious reasons I won't be.

So, what's the next step? Truth is I don't know, I can either step back into darkness and pretend I still had everything I had back in August or finally step forward into September. Two people I used to call my best friends have slipped into that old friendship where I'll never, ever see them again, except for that occasional off chance sighting, followed by an awkward conversation (due to my fucked social skills) and probably end up making my friendship worse in the end. All I can hope is that they'll carry on reading this blog and keep up with everything.

So, I take the step, try to impress a completely new group of people, half of which really don't seem to be taking a shine to me. I can't give up, that group's all I really have in terms of friends. I don't know, maybe what's left of my so called charm (I'm talking about friendish charm, not "ulterior motive" charm) is getting through, and they just have amazing poker faces, who knows. Maybe they need to read this. I tend to have visions of people spreading the word about this very blog to other friends of mine behind my back (it won't catch on).

The thing is, I have no idea how many of you read this anymore. I used to speak to the majority of my readers, now I don't I know that ONE of my friends I don't speak to very often anymore reads it and that MAYBE someone else still brings themselves to read the very blog that wrecked their friendship with me, but apart from that, who knows? Yes, James and Eleanor, my two bestest, bestest friends obviously read it. I'm not sure about various other people because they just seem so busy nowadays (with work, school work or their very important social engagements). I never talk to them anymore, it's ridiculous. All I can say to whoever's out there is "stick with it", it's one of the only connections I have to most of you.