1 Week Today!

Woo! This blog is officially one week old! So, i promised top 10 lists, so here's your first.

Top 10 Movie Bad Guys

Now, you're all expecting the likes of Darth Vader and Dr Evil on this list, alas, you probably won't have heard of any of these characters. However, you WILL have heard of these actors. All of these films are films i seriously recommend and you really should check them out.

10. Rory Breaker (played by Vas Blackwood) - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

Lock, Stock is one of my favourite films. The bad guys are no exception, there are at least two other bad guys in this film, all for their own reasons. Rory is my favourite because he's just plain coolest, he's addicted to telly and set a guy alight just so he could watch the footie.

The Plan: To get the drugs back that were stolen from him.

Demise: Get's caught up in a gun fight with one of the other bad guys in the main character's flat.

Cool Quotes: "If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything I've said? Because if you don't, I'll kill ya."

9. The Devil (played by Elizabeth Hurley) - Bedazzled

Reasons: a) She's the devil! Smooth, clever and all powerful

b) It's Liz Hurley!

The plan: To exchange seven wishes for Elliot's soul, obviously she finds the loop hole in every wish

Demise: Elliot uses his wish for someone else's benefit, which according to the terms and conditions of the contract, means she has to let him go.

Cool Quotes: "My life is a living hell!"

8. Donald Sinclair (played by John Cleese) - Rat Race

Oh come on! It's John Cleese! He plays a dangerously eccentric billionaire who does anything he likes, and is brilliantly funny while he does it, him and his ridiculously rich friends bet on anything such as who barf first on an air plane, what a hooker charges for some really weird requests and which maid can hang off of the curtain rail for the longest amount of time.

The plan: To send eight people out on a race across America for 2 million dollars, little do they know that he has his rich friends betting 2 million dollars each for who they think will win.

The demise: The racers accidentally donate all the cash to charity, and name Donald as the generous man who will double whatever the night raises!

Cool quotes: "I can do whatever I like, I'm eccentric! Rawr, Rawr!"

7. Simon Skinner (played by Timothy Dalton) - Hot Fuzz

I think the best thing about watching him was knowing that he used to be James Bond. He's a much cooler bad guy. He's the owner of the local Somerfields and is the prime suspect in a number of murders around the village.

The plan: He's part of the village council, who kill off anyone who threaten their chances of winning the village of the year competition.

Demise: He ends up in an epic fist fight with Nick Angel in the model village, ending up in a gorey situation on the model church. Needless to say, he's arrested.

Cool quotes: "My, my, here come the Fuzz."

"Stop, or the ginger nut gets it!"

6. Benedict (played by Charles Dance) - Last Action Hero

Benedict is awesome for four reasons:

1.He's very devious

2.He's British

3.He has the most amazing revolver

4.He has a number of glass eyes, one with a smilie face!

The plan: To kill his boss and become the real bad guy, after that he aims to bring the bad guys from all the movies to cause some serious havoc.

Demise: Gets shot in the glass eye, it explodes.

Cool Quotes: Jack Slater: "Sir, are you a henchman?"

Benedict: "No, I only go as far as lackey. "

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Jack Slater: "Did you make a movie mistake? You forgot to reload the damn gun."

Benedict: "No, Jack. I just left one chamber empty." *Shoots Jack*

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"I'll fetch him. Dracula? Huh. I can get King Kong! We'll have a nightmare with Freddy Krueger, have a surprize party for Adolf Hitler, Hannibal Lecter can do the catering, and then we'll have christening for Rosemary's Baby! All I have to do is snap my fingers and they'll be here."

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"If God was a villain, he would have been me."

5. Cyrus "the Virus" Grissom (played by John Malkovich) - Con Air



He's so clever! And so nasty! and so awesome! John malkovich always plays an amazing bad guy, but this is certainly the best, he takes over an entire plane full of convicts and I'm fairly sure that's not easy.

The plan: To escape!

Demise: After an awesome fight scene on the back of a fire engine, Cyrus gets handcuffed to the top of the ladder, the engine steams through an overhead walkway, and malkovich goes in one window, out the other. He lands under a big rock crushing machine, proving even the toughest nuts get cracked (I'm talking about his head, not the other nuts)

Cool quotes: Vince Larkin: "Where are you going with my plane, Cyrus?"

Cyrus: "We're going to Disney Land."

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"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. I have the only gun on board. Welcome to Con Air."

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Pinball: "You didn't mean that "dirty nigger crackhead" shit, did you?"

Cyrus Grissom: "Give me that gun. *takes the gun* Hell yes, I meant it."

4.Snidely Whiplash (played by Alfred Molina) - Dudley Do-Right

Quite possibly the most English villain every, curley moustache, top hat, Victorian English clothes, and oh so dastardly. He makes this film for me and I aspire to be him some day :p.

The plan: To rule the world, obviously!

His demise: Bad guys always lose, unfortunately, Snidely called himself the bad guy the entire way through, what did he expect?

Cool quotes: "That's no fair! They've got rocks and all we've got is machine guns!"

Special Mention - Smoking Aces

Before we get to our final three, I'd like to mention a film which just has to be mentioned on a bad guys list. Smoking aces is a film about a cop protecting a guy with a million dollar bounty on his head. Naturally all the top assassins take up all the challenge, so there are lots of bad guys to look out for. A master of disguise, an ex mercenary, two female assassins, three hillbillies and a few mates just in it for the cash all go for it, and are all ready to fight who ever gets in their way.

Sorry, just thought a film with at least five different sets of bad guys deserved a mention :)

3.Two Face (Tommy Lee Jones) and The Riddler (Jim Carrey) -Batman Forever

What's better than an awesome bad guy? Two awesome bad guys!

One guy flips a coin to choose whether to kill someone, the other is incredibly clever. Genius!

The plan: To find out who the batman is and expose him. Or kill him.

Demise(s): Two face flips his coin, batman throws lots of identical coins into the air, two face slips while trying to catch them and falls to his death

The riddler is sitting in his chair controlling people's minds when batman throws a batamarang at the power source, riddler's brain gets turned to mush and he goes insane (more insane than before :P)

Cool quotes: Riddler:*To Two-face* "I like what you've done with the place, heavy metal meets house and garden."

2, McStarley (played by Vinnie Jones) - The Condemned

The second i realized that Vinnie was gonna play the main bad guy i knew it was going to be amazing. There are two things i look for in a bad guy, comedy and/or nastiness, Mcstarley seriously excels in nastiness.

The plan: to kill all the other guys and win his freedom

Demise: he wins, but didn't quite kill one of them right, it comes back to haunt him when he gets shot

He doesn't really have any quotes, but just to prove he's nasty, he found two lovers, hancuffed the man to a tree, raped his girlfriend then blew her up in front of him. Point proven.

1.Feng (played by Christopher Walken) - Balls of Fury

If anyone wonders why Chris Walken is my fave actor, this is why. It's not that he's particularly evil, he's just fabulous! Quirkiness is one of my favourite things in a bad guy and he takes it to the max. Represent!

The plan: to host an underground sudden death (literally!) table tennis tournament.

Demise: he takes on the main character in a one bounce anywhere counts game, they take it to a rope bridge where Feng falls.

Cool quotes: "Ping pong. Or as the chinese say, "Ping pong.""

"Let's get it over with! We're missing antiques roadshow!"

"I wont bite, at least not anywhere that shows."

"I bid you toodles."