Death is easy, peaceful. Watching Twilight is so, so much harder.

Not much I can say to justify watching New Moon, after the disaster that was Twilight. Let's just call it a dangerous desire to complete what I've started. Dangerous.

00:00 I'm not exactly comfortable, but let's begin anyway...It's not like I have much choice.

00:03 She's concerned about having grey hair?! Oh hey Anna.

00:05 Kissing, gay. Ugh, maybe I need to actually say some proper media stuff.

00:07 You know I think Alice's legs turned up before she did...no problems here. Anyway, conversation seems to flow a little better this time around, and the shots seem slightly less ambitious. Might make up for the terrible storyline.

0:10 The pale kid recites Shakespeare, how romantic.

0:12 Effects are still kinda crap though, oh well. Oh hey Alice ^.^

0:13 Spoilt brat tries hard not to enjoy her birthday. Still loves a truck.

00:15 Oh cool, we're actually getting some character depth this time! Not from anyone REALLY important though, that would be stupid. However, it's a character I kinda like, so I'll let it slide.

0:18 They can't even kiss! Ahah! Beautiful.

0:19 Oh hey anna. Pale kid sneaks into his girlfriend's bedroom.

0:20 Oh god, the woods, now something emotional is going to happen...

0:25 What a dick. I like how they're not showing the speedy effects anymore, because they were shite. Yet haven't bothered to replace them...

0:27 It's suddenly October. Spoilt bitch's hair has gone dark. NOW IT'S NOVEMBER! LIKE MAGIC! The camera work is so much better.

0:28 Dear Alice, please bring your legs back into this film.

0:29 Wow, dad was quick to let go too. Good job.

0:31 Hey Anna, you're being kinda annoying. Where's Alice?

0:33 What kind of girl does this at all?! AND ANNA FUCKING WAITED FOR HER?!

0:35 Awkward conversation is back, Jacob is kind of annoying. Do girls seriously like him? Edward I kinda get, but not him.

0:37 Who are these geeks?!

0:38 Montage that almost flows.

0:44 Fuck off Edward, put your top back on Jacob! What is this fucking film?!

0:46 Facepunch, a film with punching faces. Stop being a bitch Anna! Where's Alice gone?!

0:47 Lucas Lee is probably starring in this film...Face punch, that is.

0:50 Thank you What'syourface! Taylor Lautner needs to fuck off. At least Edward can sport sunglasses!

0:53 Oh hey, he cut his hair.

0:56 Alice, please bring your legs back into this film.

0:57 What's this, appendix failure?!

0:59 A black guy in the woods? Horrible stereotyping.

1:00 AHAHAHAHAHAHAH! THE WOLF LOOKS LIKE A PUPPET! AHAHAHAH! Perfect for an hour in.

1:03 Why do guys keep coming into her room like this?!

1:05 WHY HAVEN'T YOU FUCKING FIGURED IT OUT YET?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS FILM! ANNA'S A BITCH NOW, BELLA STOPPED BITING HER LIP AND ALICE HAS GONE! THIS IS JUST ABOUT MEN TAKING THEIR TOPS OFF NOW!

1:07 Maybe if you weren't so stupid wolfy wouldn't be getting so fucked up right now.

1:08 I think this is a statement that there are four topless men in a room and a woman with a horribly scarred face. A statement against Alice's legs.

1:12 Kiss her you fool, obvious flirting alert! Actually don't, I still don't like you.

1:15 Fight! Or run, whatever.

1:17 So they swapped bad effects for bad animation, okay. Sure.

1:19 LET HER DIE, SAVE ME FROM THIS!

1:21 I just realised how hard the guys have to think while talking in this film. Furrowed brows everywhere.

1:23 ALICE! I've missed you!

1:25 Don't go...

1:29 Jacob, fuck off, can't you see Alice is here now?! Virgin plug, also, there was a Burger King plug too, and this animation is awful.

1:34 Run through the fountain, take off some clothes while you're at it.

1:35 She looks really cross eyed in this scene, beautiful.

1:36 horrible kissing.

1:38 Elevator music joke?

1:43 Okay, so she's immune, create a vaccine, maybe?

1:49 I hate the way that new antagonists are introduced so close to the end of a film, we already know there are going to be at least two more.

1:52: Is this the bit where people formed teams for these guys? Is there a team for Alice?

1:54 LIP BITE! WOOOOOO!

1:57 I'm glad that's over. I have to admit, it was better than the first film in terms of visuals, for the most part anyway, camera work was better and stuff, still not impressed with the whole turnaround with women being overshadowed with topless men. But hey, whatever. Time to look up whoever played Alice on the IMDB.

Team Alice <3.