The next step.

I'm going to ignore the holidays, the last weekend was fun, albeit incredibly unlucky: got my phone nicked, had the worst luck in poker ever (which seems to have carried on) and bought a headset, unknowing that a fucking book shop was doing them for fucking half price (yes, I'm angry). But I went to a games expo, which was cool (to the geeky side of me, bloody scary to the rest :P) and I played pool and stuff (like a true slacker). I'd show you pictures I took on my phone, but for obvious reasons I won't be.

So, what's the next step? Truth is I don't know, I can either step back into darkness and pretend I still had everything I had back in August or finally step forward into September. Two people I used to call my best friends have slipped into that old friendship where I'll never, ever see them again, except for that occasional off chance sighting, followed by an awkward conversation (due to my fucked social skills) and probably end up making my friendship worse in the end. All I can hope is that they'll carry on reading this blog and keep up with everything.

So, I take the step, try to impress a completely new group of people, half of which really don't seem to be taking a shine to me. I can't give up, that group's all I really have in terms of friends. I don't know, maybe what's left of my so called charm (I'm talking about friendish charm, not "ulterior motive" charm) is getting through, and they just have amazing poker faces, who knows. Maybe they need to read this. I tend to have visions of people spreading the word about this very blog to other friends of mine behind my back (it won't catch on).

The thing is, I have no idea how many of you read this anymore. I used to speak to the majority of my readers, now I don't I know that ONE of my friends I don't speak to very often anymore reads it and that MAYBE someone else still brings themselves to read the very blog that wrecked their friendship with me, but apart from that, who knows? Yes, James and Eleanor, my two bestest, bestest friends obviously read it. I'm not sure about various other people because they just seem so busy nowadays (with work, school work or their very important social engagements). I never talk to them anymore, it's ridiculous. All I can say to whoever's out there is "stick with it", it's one of the only connections I have to most of you.

All good things come to an end

Well, today is officially the last day of holiday, and I must say, it's been something.

Things haven't always gone smoothly for me during the holidays, and I've not let many people forget it. This one was different, simply in the sense that things actually happened.

I should probably start by saying that I lost a hell of a lot of friends (or should I say "friends"). The liars, the people who just knew me for a joke. That aside, I gained another best friend. That doesn't sound very important, but trust me, it's VERY hard to fully gain my trust in everything. To be honest, I think they're just as surprised as I am...in a good way of course.

But unfortunately, all good things come to an end. Most of my friends are here, but that doesn't mean I wont be missing seeing those that have gone to college and have jobs and everything. I have no idea how September will play out, that's how it is. I trust people to sort things out by themselves, I mean, a lot of people just drifted over the holidays but I just put that down to expired friendships. We'll see.

Omnia causa fiunt.

The Wednesday Lunchtime Post

Surprise! A post during the day! Wow!

Lately I've not been sleeping great and my alarm clock is malfunctioning (which doesn't help), so I've not been able to get up early enough to head into school and finalize my CV (references). I'm actually wishing I was tired so I can go to bed at a (fairly) reasonable hour.

In the past two days, my top 5 has taken a few dramatic twists, and this week could be the first time a song is posted THREE times!!! It's a shame, because I thought I had it sorted by Monday, but everything's gone a bit woooo.

I think this is week three of my holiday. To be honest I've totally lost count. Everyone's going on holiday now. Eleanor in Arizona, Karolina in Poland, Anna in Ireland. Billy's off to Turkey later as well. I was so glad when Emily came back from her walk for the Duke of Edinburgh thing, I think it'll be kinda cool to know someone with a silver award :)

So, what's next in my magical holiday experience? Things aren't going great at the moment, but I'm taking it all on the shoulder because I know I've got too much time to be bothered by little things. I hope it's just an iffy day...

Stay tuned for: The start of my top 100 music videos!!!

Holidays

Today/Yesterday (Tuesday) was/has been pretty weird. I've been being pretty grouchy I guess, lying in wait to see who'd talk to me first on msn: four people, it's sad that that's actually more than I expected :p One of them was to point out how i never bothered to start the conversation. Good point, but not great for my mood, at least I know they care about me :) You know who you are. So apart from that, I'm grateful for those who spoke to me first. Again, you know who you are :) and I'm happy that I now know that I'm cared for, in my twisted, stubborn, pathetic way :p So, enough of me being stubborn, more of my next point.

Sooooo many people are gonna be away during July, it's amazing. So I guess I'm probably going to have to get myself a job (I need some cash for t-shirts and train tickets anyway). I want to get away for just one day, to the beach. Southend, because I went there so many times as a kid that it sort of became regular, and then it just stopped. Last time I went was actually before I met Jazmine (the local :p), so surely three years later it's time to go again? Definitely.

I feel happy right now, at 2:54:11, I hope it lasts.

2:55:52: it didn't last. I wish people would listen to me and treat me as if I had some kind of knowledge, they might as well throw a rattle at me right now. I'm up now because I know I wont be able to get to sleep until about 4am, meaning there's no point going to bed until about 3:30. This is because of how I've been sleeping lately. I've set my alarm to 11am so I will wake up earlier which will hopefully mean that I can sleep earlier. That's so the person who didn't listen to me in the first place now knows why I'm so pissed off that they decided to not just fucking leave me alone to do what I was doing, because I'm fully aware of the fucking time. You know who you are.

Today

Today, I decided to go and "steal" the sims from a friend, all it was was to copy the folders onto my external hard drive and run. BUT, three hours later, I'm still here...It's been pretty cool though, mario kart, sims, stufflings.

So yeah, now that the holidays are nearly over, it's probably time to give a review of how everything went:

Saturday 4th

Went to town with loads of friends (Tom, James, Eleanor, Michael and later Emily) to look for outfits for us. Naturally, it was a total disaster. But, on a scale of one to cool, it was an awesome day. Ended up at James' where i stayed till about 11pm.

Sunday 5th

It's a blur, I either went to Michael's or stayed in, either way i didn't have my amazing sunglasses because they had taken up residence at James' :(

Monday 6th

Went to Michael's, played games and stuff, the usual, good chillout session :)

Tuesday 7th

School: Yes, i know it's a holiday and everything, but i needed some serious catch up time, so i went in and did some english, turned into mess about session, awesome. Spent the rest of the day hiding down in art with Eleanor.

Wednesday 8th

More school: Was food tech today, teacher was late due to not waking up on time, like me :) So helped out my brother's form tutor by colouring stuff in and advising her on where to get a new pair of her awesome boots.

Thursday 9th

Moreeee Schooool: Food tech again, teacher got caught up in car accident today, she came back with a handful of pieces that had fallen off of her car, nice :) Although, I will miss the civic. R.I.P To the nice looking car. She'll be driving round in a TT till she gets the new one :p

Friday 10th

Went to town, mainly to HMV, bought the bourne identity for three quid once i'd figured out which was the first film in the series. Walked to town in rain, walked half way back and visited Tom (once i'd figured what number he lived at), until rain stopped. More good chilling time, well deserved. On the downside, i picked up some nasty blisters and my converses got REALLY wet :(

Saturday 11th

Poker! Today I hosted (again) James, Michael, Nicola and Tom, James won first game (I came third) and Nicola stormed second game, winning nearly every hand. Then we proceded to play jenga (the real tough people's game) and Nicola taught us how to play a new card game, which i won at :p. We then Trekked to James' in the rain (Michael's idea >:( ) and played monopoly, I won again :p then gave people a lift home and slept.

Sunday 12th

First day i really didn't have any plans, just sat around watching TV, most likely football :p

Monday 13th

Second day i didn't have plans, got back into audiosurf today.

Tuesday 14th

Now, i WAS going to go to school, but i went back to sleep and woke up again at about 2pm, so i decided against it.

Wednesday 15th

School again: Performing arts today, out of eight students, I was the ONLY person to come in :(, did lots of work though so I'm top of the class for once! Oh, yeah, and I started a blog :p

Thursday 16th

Even more school: More performing arts...more loneliness. Sigh.

Friday 17th

Last day of school!: IT and English today, got pestered by Ewan all of first IT session (was late so it wasn't long :P) then browsed through my awesome original writing story with Eleanor to check up on grammar to make it an A* (will post another time). Is the only A* I'll ever get in english so don't worry. Did more IT and went home.

Saturday 18th

Decided to go to James' so we could copy the sims 2 games that my idiot brother deleted. Still here now, and has just gone 10pm, as long as i get to see some lovely rupert and salem cats I'm happy (:

Sunday 19th

Am entering the relms of predicting the futuuuuuuuuuuuuure. I'm probably doing nothing.

So yeah, overall things have gone quite well for a holiday, and now i have this amazing blog, I can bore you all half to death about it :D.